Substance use disorders can frequently be found in multiple generations of a family. It can make a person curious, if this is due to trauma from living in a tumultuous childhood home or if there is a genetic component. In truth, there are many reasons why this occurs. At Safe Harbor Recovery Center, we provide treatment for people with substance use disorders, and we understand the underlying causes of addiction.
Common Traits of Children of Addicted Parents
When a child has a parent who uses addictive substances, they are likely to have the following traits:
- Being isolated from other people
- Struggling to deal with people who are angry
- Being inclined to enter intimate relationships with people who use substances
- Feeling guilty if they stand up for themselves and set boundaries
- Having low self-esteem
- Focusing too much on others and not enough on themselves
The traits that a child develops, to cope with having a parent with a substance use disorder, can set them up to become addicted to substances themselves, later in life. Lacking better coping skills, children raised in homes where substances are misused, turn to what they know.
Genetics Behind Addiction
If substance misuse was simply the result of learned patterns of behavior, one would expect that people whose biological parents have substance use disorders, but who have been adopted outside their families, would not be at increased risk of becoming addicted to substances. However, adoptees are about twice as likely as people raised in their birth families, to develop substance use disorders, so there does seem to be a genetic component. This may be the result of the high risk for substance use disorders themselves being passed genetically or because mental health disorders have a genetic component and mental illness increases the likelihood of a person developing a substance use disorder, and the child inheriting this issue from a biological parent.
Ways to Protect Yourself
If you are the adult child of someone with a substance use disorder, remember that you are not guaranteed the same fate as your parent. Their addiction may increase your risk, but it doesn’t solidify your outcomes. There are steps you can take to manage your own well-being and reduce your risk:
- Build a chosen family – You deserve a support system and it does not have to be blood relatives. If your family is toxic to your well-being, surround yourself with people who are healthier for you, and who can model more normal interactions.
- Prioritize your own self-care – make your own mental and physical health a priority by attending therapy, and self-help groups and limiting your contact with people who are unhealthy for you. You can also help yourself to recover from toxic interactions with exercise, journaling, reaching out to healthy supports, utilizing your faith community, scheduling extra therapy sessions, and attending extra recovery meetings.
- Set and maintain healthy boundaries – if you need to see someone toxic to you, spend the days and weeks before the interaction thinking about your specific concerns and deciding what you will and will not accept and how you will respond if your lines are crossed.
- Have an escape plan – if prolonged interactions with your family are a threat to your well-being, ensure that you are not stuck with them. Sleep somewhere else, make plans with a friend, schedule an appointment, etc. so you have an excuse to leave at a certain time. Handle your own transportation, so you aren’t relying on someone else to get you out of a nasty situation.
- Be aware of how old patterns of interaction can creep back in – even if you and everyone in your family have been working on themselves, old habits die hard. When we get together with people we have known forever, it’s easy to fall back into old, potentially unhealthy patterns.
- Stand up for yourself – it isn’t okay for other people to disrespect or hurt you. You cannot make them change, but you are allowed to call out the behavior, instead of swallowing your feelings.
At Safe Harbor Recovery Center in Portsmouth, VA, we know that it can be difficult to break cycles of generational trauma and substance use, but we also know that it can be done. We offer trauma-informed, evidence-based treatment for substance use disorders and co-occurring mental health conditions.