Watching someone you love struggle with a substance use or mental health disorder can be extremely painful. It can leave friends and family members feeling helpless to do anything except watch as disaster unfolds. Fortunately, there are several ways that loved ones can offer support, before and once a person enters recovery. At Safe Harbor Recovery Center in Portsmouth, Virginia, we work with our patients’ natural supports to help them find ways to help their loved one on their journey to become as healthy as possible.
Ways Loved Ones Can Help
Friends and family cannot force someone to get better, but they can often convince the person that they have a problem and that they need help. They take the steps to get the person started in treatment, and the help they can offer someone in recovery is priceless:
- Valuable information – patients may not always know or remember to mention that they have a family history of mental illness or substance use disorder or what treatments were effective for other family members who have had similar struggles. Their loved ones can help to fill in gaps to streamline treatment and ensure it has the best possible chances of being effective.
- Emotional support – it is hard to heal from a substance use or mental health disorder. People often have to know how their behaviors may have harmed themselves and others. They often have to make massive lifestyle changes to avoid relapses, and they may have to cut off people from their lives who aren’t healthy for them. This is a time when they desperately need to feel the love and compassion from their support system.
- Honesty and accountability – your loved one may need you to hold up a mirror sometimes so they can see how their choices are hindering their ability to reach their own goals. By patiently and lovingly communicating what you see, you can help your loved one identify signs of relapse and barriers to their own growth. Friends and family are also often able to see warning signs for relapse before the person themselves, so their honest feedback can help to more rapidly reverse this backslide when it is an easier problem to manage. Additionally, family members who allow their loved one to receive the natural consequences of their choices while still loving them and believing in their potential motivate the person to make better choices long-term.
- Positive reinforcement and motivation – people in recovery have to work really hard, and if it feels like no one is seeing how much effort they are putting in, it can be easy to become discouraged. Words of praise and support for continuing to go to therapy, meet with a sponsor, attend a group, or take medications can help people to continue their recovery journey when it has become exhausting and feels pointless.
- Hope – there are times when it is difficult for a person who has struggled with their mental health or addiction to believe that they can be successful in rebuilding their life. Friends and family can help them to feel like it is possible to live a beautiful, meaningful future.
- A healthy environment with positive role models – families are not responsible for causing someone to become mentally ill or addicted, but sometimes they can perpetuate unhealthy behaviors and make it harder for a person to stay on track. When a person in recovery comes from a difficult home, it is often because other members of the household are also hurting and in need of help. Loved ones who are willing to actively participate in therapy, family support groups, and other opportunities can help the whole family system become stronger, healthier, and more resilient. Support people who drink or use substances can also give up alcohol and other drugs in order to provide inspiration and an example of recovery for their loved one.
- Long-term perspective – when a person is losing hope for their long-term recovery, friends and family can remind them how far they have come on their journey and all of the obstacles they have already surpassed. They can help the person to see that short-term struggles aren’t permanent barriers.
At Safe Harbor Recovery Center, we value family participation, which is why we offer a family program that promotes healthy communication and support for people in recovery and their loved ones. We know that a strong support system increases the chances of our patients succeeding in their long-term recovery goals.