Relapses are a painful part of the recovery process. In the worst cases, they can make a person feel like they have failed and put them at risk for overdose. Hopefully, however, a person who relapses can quickly recover and regain sobriety, learning valuable lessons along the way. At Safe Harbor Recovery Center in Portsmouth, Virginia, we help each of our clients recognize the signs of imminent relapse and build supports that will help them avoid and recover from relapses.
When Relapse is Most Likely
Relapses don’t happen suddenly. The process of relapsing can begin days, weeks or even months before a person breaks sobriety. Recognizing when their risk is higher, can help people to manage their recovery in a way that preserves their sobriety:
- Dangerous Times – Think about big life transitions that are likely to cause a lot of stress or leave a person lacking the structure they need and should have:
- The first year of recovery – You’re still figuring out how to be sober and what your triggers for relapse are.
- Right after leaving treatment – You were surrounded by supportive, sober people and now you’re back in “the real world” and there is a lot of change happening right now.
- When there is no solid recovery plan – You don’t know where you’re going to get therapy, you don’t have a sponsor, you have not found a recovery group or you aren’t sure what you would do if someone offered you your substance of choice.
- When the recovery plan is not being followed – You have a detailed recovery plan. You have a sponsor and a therapist, but you aren’t meeting with them. You make excuses for not attending your recovery group (everyone there is a whiner, the meetings are boring, parking is a hassle, etc.), but you aren’t looking for other groups to attend. You don’t remember the last time you meditated, engaged in spiritual practices or read recovery-related materials.
- During relationship problems – You’re not getting along with your partner, your kids, your best friend, your parent, or someone else important to you and it’s taking a toll.
- During stressful periods at work – You’re working too many hours, have too much to get done, your boss is being demanding or your co-workers are not pulling their weight and it’s making you frustrated, or maybe you’ve lost your position and you’re worried about money.
- Dangerous Places – If a person is spending time in places where they used in the past or obtained their substance of choice, or where they expect their connections to be found, the recovery community has a saying that applies. “If you hang around the barbershop long enough, you’re bound to get a haircut eventually.”
- Dangerous People – This can mean a lot of different things:
- “Friends” the person used with
- People who don’t support their recovery
- People who aren’t good for their mental health
- Dangerous Thoughts – If negativity or doubt is creeping in or the person is focusing more on others than themselves, they might be engaging in dangerous thoughts. Some examples of this could include:
- Indicating that other people are always the problem
- Justifying “occasional” use
- Not knowing how to cope or enjoy life without using
- Not believing long-term change is possible
- Feeling like recovery isn’t worth the effort
- Struggling to manage cravings
- Feeling like they have already messed up too badly for redemption
Being Proactive About Relapse
If you read the descriptions above and recognized some things you have been doing, there’s no time like the present, for getting back on track. Some steps you can take to solidify your recovery include:
- Developing a more solid recovery plan – If your plan is vague or non-existent, start by setting out some concrete steps you can take immediately. It may help to do this with a therapist, substance abuse counselor or your sponsor. This could include things like:
- Attending recovery meetings at a specified frequency
- Finding a sponsor
- Finding a therapist who specializes in treating people with substance use disorders
- Following a specific self-care plan that addresses your basic mental, physical, spiritual and emotional needs
- Having a consistent routine
- Following your existing recovery plan – If you already have a recovery plan and you’re just not following it, ask yourself why and if there is something that you need to change, so you’re more likely to follow it. Maybe you left treatment with a plan to attend a recovery meeting on Monday mornings, but you’re finding that you’re too rushed early in the day, to make it to these meetings. Perhaps it would be better to pick a meeting after work.
- Using your support system – Sometimes there are barriers to following a recovery plan, but we can turn to friends, family, our sponsor, a therapist or other supportive people, for help with brainstorming solutions.
Giving Yourself Grace
Addiction is a mental disease. Diseases require solid treatment plans, whether that disease is diabetes, asthma or a substance use disorder. With any disease, you may think you have a solid plan in place until something happens to show you otherwise. By treating relapse as an indicator that your plan needs strengthening, it is possible to take accountability, without inflicting shame on yourself and feeling like a failure. Shame does not strengthen recovery, it actually makes it harder to stay sober.
At Safe Harbor Recovery Center, we offer several levels of substance abuse treatment, including residential, intensive outpatient and partial hospitalization. We develop comprehensive, customized treatment plans with each client we serve, targeted to meet their unique recovery needs.