You’ve done it. You gave up alcohol or some other drug that was ruining your life. You’re in recovery, and you’re trying to stay there. Here come the holidays, though, and you’re finding that your old holiday traditions involve people, places, or things that are on your list of relapse triggers. At Safe Harbor Recovery Center in Portsmouth, Virginia, we want to encourage you to think of ways you can develop your own sober holiday traditions to replace the old ones that no longer serve you.
Identifying the Bad
Think about your holiday traditions. Some questions you may ask yourself include:
- What have you done to celebrate in the past, and how might that not be a good plan going forward?
- Where are the possible triggers in your usual festivities?
- Was there trauma associated with an event in the past, or some of the people who will be in attendance?
- Who would you like to avoid this holiday season?
- Is it possible that you could come back to this event in the future, when you are further along in your recovery journey, but just make an excuse to miss this year?
- What is this event really about? Does it add to your recovery or place it in danger?
- Why do you want to go? Can that be accomplished differently?
Keeping the Good
Even if there is a lot you choose to cut out, there is probably still a lot you can salvage. If you know what you need to ditch, that will make it easier to decide what you want to keep. Do you really have to go to that family celebration, with toxic people who are not supportive of your recovery, or will it still feel like Christmas if you spend time with a few of the people who attend that event, but in a different setting, on a different date?
If you aren’t drinking anymore, but you want something special to mark the occasion, will you still enjoy yourself at the usual event, with a mocktail in your hand? Can you talk to your employer about making your holiday work event alcohol-free, so that it’s more welcoming to you and others who aren’t drinking?
Making a Plan
Consider the following options for some added support:
- Take a sober friend with you, so you’re not the only one abstaining from drinking.
- Throw your own event and invite people who you know won’t be indulging in substances:
- Bake some cookies
- Host a Christmas movie night
- Play board games together
- Sing karaoke
- Go caroling
- Drive around and look at Christmas lights
- Volunteer together
In addition, it is important to talk to your sponsor and other sober supports about your holiday plans and listen to the wisdom they offer you.
Some other tips to consider are:
- Practice how you will say no.
- Keep a drink in your hand at all times that does not contain alcohol, so people don’t feel as inclined to offer you a drink.
- Drive yourself to events or plan to call a cab or Uber, so you can leave whenever you want.
- Don’t volunteer to drive anyone else, so you don’t get stuck waiting until they are ready to leave.
- Have a plan for what you will say to explain your early departure from events that aren’t working out as expected.
- Look for events that are happening within the recovery community, so that you can get out and socialize without being tempted.
- Stay on top of your self-care throughout the holiday season.
- Keep your therapy appointments, so you can talk about any difficult feelings that may come up. Grief is most profound for many people at the holidays, and it can be a relapse trigger, especially if you’re feeling lonely.
At Safe Harbor Recovery Center, we want your holidays to be merry and bright, and your new year ahead to be the gateway to ongoing happiness and prosperity. We offer several levels of care for people who are fighting addiction, as well as mental health support for people who have co-occurring mental health and substance use disorders. We are here to help as you or your loved one opens a new, sober chapter of life.