Maybe some of your relationships were damaged by active addiction, or maybe you never had the support you needed, even before you started using substances. Either way, you may have looked around one day and realized that most of your interactions were with other people who drank or used with you, and that you don’t have many sober supports in your life. One of the struggles of entering recovery is realizing that you will need to leave behind your “using friends” at the same time that you’re being told that loneliness is a relapse trigger. Where does a person meet sober friends anyway? At Safe Harbor Recovery Center in Portsmouth, Virginia, we want to give you some ideas for rebuilding your sober support system as you enter recovery.
Repairing Old Relationships
There may be people who cared about you but couldn’t keep watching you hurt yourself. Once you’re sober and making changes, you may be able to reconnect with some of these family members, colleagues, and friends to build better relationships. It may take a lot of time and work to rebuild the trust you once had.
On the other hand, there may be some people who choose to keep their distance because of how hurt they were. It can be difficult to accept those choices sometimes. You may also be the one who decides that it’s better to keep your distance from someone from your past. Setting boundaries is part of staying healthy, and you’re allowed to remove people from your life who don’t support your recovery.
Looking Within the Recovery Community
You are not the only person who has ever fought addiction. There is a whole community of people who have been there and don’t ever want to go back. You can find them:
- In treatment
- At 12-Step meetings or mental health support groups
- Through your sponsor
- In sober living
- At drop-in centers for people in recovery
- At recovery events like picnics, barbeques, and holiday gatherings
- In the Safe Harbor alumni group
- Giving back by leading a meeting, becoming a SMART facilitator, sharing your story at a rehab program, or becoming a peer recovery coach
Looking Outside the Recovery Community
Think about your self-care routine. The things you are doing to stay in recovery may be things other people in recovery are also using to stay on track in their recovery journeys:
- Spirituality. This could be attending religious services, joining bible studies, teaching a Sunday school class, practicing yoga or other mindfulness techniques, or joining a choir
- Exercise. This can be anything you enjoy, such as walking or hiking, going to a gym, taking fitness classes, joining a team sport, or dancing. These all can provide opportunities to connect with others who have similar goals or interests.
- Nutrition. Explore nutrition through gardening, taking cooking classes, or visiting a local farmer’s market.
- Spending time in nature. You can enjoy the company of others by enjoying nature. This could be something as simple as sitting in a local park, visiting a state park, or going to a national park.
- Hobbies. You can meet others by rollerblading or skating, surfing, creating art, video gaming, joining book clubs, practicing photography, or joining role-playing or board game groups
- Hanging out with family. Spend time with loved ones at a zoo or aquarium, taking a camping trip, visiting a museum, spending the day at an amusement park, or having a movie night at home.
- Volunteering. Give back by helping others at animal rescues, nursing homes, homeless shelters, food pantries, or libraries
- Traveling. There are travel agencies that specialize in sober travel, or you can arrange your own adventures in the next neighborhood, town, state, or country over
Online Connections
Even if you have limitations such as financial, physical, emotional, or otherwise that prevent you from being able to do some of the things above, there are also ways you can connect to other people online to make sober connections. Many 12-Step programs offer online meetings, and NAMI has chatrooms where people can get support for mental health struggles.
Each person in recovery is unique from the next. Wherever you draw the strength to get and stay sober, there may be a hidden opportunity to expand your sober support system. At Safe Harbor Recovery Center, we encourage our clients to recognize those opportunities to develop a sober network.