In general terms, a relapse is when symptoms of a disease return, following a period of remission. When discussing relapse of a physical health condition, like diabetes or asthma, there is usually little or no shame attached to the term. When talking about addiction, however, many people view a relapse as a sign of weakness or failure.
At Safe Harbor Recovery Center, in Portsmouth, Virginia, we think it is important to recognize that while a relapse isn’t desirable, a relapse can occur with any disease and that it simply indicates a need to revise the treatment plan and assess for additional support needs, not a moral failing or lack of interest in recovery.
Timeline of a Relapse
Many people think of a relapse as the moment when a person drinks or uses a drug, but the reality is that the person started the relapse days, weeks, or possibly even months before they partook of that substance. Relapse has three stages that we encourage our clients and their supports to recognize:
- Emotional – the person isn’t maintaining their self-care. Their emotions and behaviors are leading them toward relapse, even if they are not actively thinking about using yet.
- Mental – the person has continued to neglect their self-care. They are thinking about using and considering ways to justify use. They may be having a lot of negative thoughts about recovery.
- Physical – the person uses alcohol or another substance.
Relapses most often occur:
- During the first 90 days of treatment
- Within the first year of recovery
- While stepping down from inpatient to outpatient treatment
Relapse Prevention
The earlier a person is in the relapse process, the easier it is for them to correct course and avoid or stop using. Some actions a person can take when they recognize that they are starting to relapse include:
- Engaging their sober supports
- Going to therapy
- Attending recovery meetings
- Refocusing on self-care by prioritizing sleep, getting good nutrition, addressing spiritual needs, spending time with loved ones, and making time for fun
Returning to Treatment
Some people find that they need a sort of “booster” on their treatment following a relapse, if the other tools that the person has been using aren’t working. There is no shame in needing to re-enter treatment. You may be in a different place in your recovery journey than you were before and be able to learn things you weren’t ready for previously. The more that a person learns about addiction and recovery, the better equipped they become to engage in long-term sobriety and recovery.
Supporting a Loved One Following Relapse
If you have witnessed someone you care about relapsing, you may feel disappointed, afraid, confused, and frustrated. If you have seen it more than once, you may be better able to recognize the signs than they are. Some of the best things you can do to support your loved one’s sobriety are:
- Intervene as soon as you see early warning signs, which may look like the list above and/or glorifying drugs or alcohol, reminiscing about the “good times” they had in active addiction, isolating themselves, skipping their recovery meetings or meetings with sober supports, lying, defensive behavior, using other substances, or seeming hopeless
- Avoid shaming, but hold your loved one accountable
- Offer encouragement and support
- Spend time with them, doing sober activities
Taking Care of Yourself after a Loved One Relapses
Remember that it is not your fault if your loved one relapses. It’s not your fault, nor is it something they are doing to hurt you. Now is a good time to
- Use your own coping skills
- Attend a support group meeting
- Keep your therapy appointments
- Get some exercise
- Meditate
- Reach out to someone who is a good listener
- Take some space
At Safe Harbor Recovery Center, we aren’t just here to help our clients. We also support their loved ones, because we know that addiction is hard on everyone who loves a person who is struggling with this disease. Our caring team of professionals values the strength and caring of the families we serve.